Our Blog

Psalm 6 

¹ Lord, do not rebuke me in your anger; *
do not punish me in your wrath.

² Have pity on me, Lord, for I am weak; *
heal me, Lord, for my bones are racked.

³ My spirit shakes with terror; *
how long, O Lord, how long?

⁴ Turn, O Lord, and deliver me; *
save me for your mercy's sake.

⁵ For in death no one remembers you; *
and who will give you thanks in the grave?

⁶ I grow weary because of my groaning; *
every night I drench my bed
and flood my couch with tears.

⁷ My eyes are wasted with grief *
and worn away because of all my enemies.

⁸ Depart from me, all evildoers, *
for the Lord has heard the sound of my weeping.

⁹ The Lord has heard my supplication; *
the Lord accepts my prayer.

¹⁰ All my enemies shall be confounded and quake with fear; *
they shall turn back and suddenly be put to shame.

What comes to me is the helplessness of this person. Today, all people want us to talk about is helplessness. But this passage reminds us that we’re always helpless, we are always under the control of God and that God is truly the only person that we can turn to to find control in life. In order to find control you have to give control to the Lord. And trust in God.
 
I was brought to Holy Apostles through my girlfriend Sarah and I think she presented this to me and my heart was open to it because I had allowed her into my heart, the same way that the speaker in the scripture opens his or her heart to the Lord. My time with Holy Apostles has allowed me to open up my heart too, to God. Although we’re in trying times now, it reminds me that there will be more trying times to come, as there will be joyful times and that every moment with God can be a joyful moment. 
 
Lent is certainly a time in the year when Christains reflect on their lives but I also would like to take this time to imagine my life and my life with the Church going forward. I look forward to a new day tomorrow while also enjoying today and reflecting on yesterday. h

Lamentations 1:1-2

How lonely sits the city that was once full of people. Wow. So I’ve been trying to spend as much time outside with my family as possible because everyone seems to benefit from the space and the unconfined feeling. So during this time it means the yard. Our dog is very happy as she spends her time “hunting” for squirrels. The rest of us play, dig up weeds,  bask in the sun, and chat with neighbors and friends when they pass by. We stand 6 feet apart, across the fence from each other and grouse, commiserate, share updates and look for some silver linings in this experience. This a very important part of being outside—remembering that there are people out there. All the while the stream of ambulance sirens remind us that we aren’t just a happy family playing soccer in the yard. We are folks living in a global pandemic that will leave marks on all of us. The strangeness of the joy of being outside in the sun and the general feeling of something is closing in on us live side by side. We are people who are faithful, fearful and asking for God’s help.

I like the way the author of Lamentations personifies the city itself. I wonder what personified New York would be doing right now. Probably weeping. I wonder if boastful New York has anyone to comfort her? I wonder if she would accept help if she were offered any—she strikes me as someone who likes to be able to go it alone. But maybe now in this time, she sees how none of us can go it alone.

I’m very grateful for God right now. This morning during the reading of the passion I kept getting chills listening, feeling the reading was newly alive for me. I could connect in new and different ways to understanding what Jesus did for all of us and how God loves us.

Psalm 42  

¹ As the deer longs for the water-brooks, *
so longs my soul for you, O God.

² My soul is athirst for God, athirst for the living God; *
when shall I come to appear before the presence of God?

³ My tears have been my food day and night, *
while all day long they say to me,
"Where now is your God?"

⁴ I pour out my soul when I think on these things; *
how I went with the multitude and led them into the
house of God,

⁵ With the voice of praise and thanksgiving, *
among those who keep holy-day.

⁶ Why are you so full of heaviness, O my soul? *
and why are you so disquieted within me?

⁷ Put your trust in God; *
for I will yet give thanks to him,
who is the help of my countenance, and my God.

⁸ My soul is heavy within me; *
therefore I will remember you from the land of Jordan,
and from the peak of Mizar among the heights of Hermon.

⁹ One deep calls to another in the noise of your cataracts; *
all your rapids and floods have gone over me.

¹⁰ The Lord grants his loving-kindness in the daytime; *
in the night season his song is with me,
a prayer to the God of my life.

¹¹ I will say to the God of my strength,
"Why have you forgotten me? *
and why do I go so heavily while the enemy
oppresses me?"

¹² While my bones are being broken, *
my enemies mock me to my face;

¹³ All day long they mock me *
and say to me, "Where now is your God?"

¹⁴ Why are you so full of heaviness, O my soul? *
and why are you so disquieted within me?

¹⁵ Put your trust in God; *
for I will yet give thanks to him,
who is the help of my countenance, and my God.

The comparison of the soul with a deer is the first thing that stands out to me in this text. A deer is an animal guided by natural instincts; similarly, our souls long for more primal satisfactions. And maybe we lose touch with this fundamental part of ourselves when we surround ourselves with layers of material comfort (a dwelling, a paying job, food in the pantry). As our world is turned upside down, all that brings us reassurance seems to be suddenly at risk of disappearing. It’s easy to let oneself go into a dark place and lose hope.

This text reminds us that no matter how hard we are tested, no matter how much the world is changing around us, our true selves do not change. When we lose sight of this and when we’re looking for a sign, for reassurance, we need to find the way back to our souls. We don’t know what’s going to happen tomorrow, we can’t predict how the coming months are going to be but “in the night season his song is with me”. That’s our faith and that doesn’t change.