Our Blog

You can listen to the reading and reflection by clicking here.

Hebrews 4:14—5:4

Since, then, we have a great high priest who has passed through the heavens, Jesus, the Son of God, let us hold fast to our confession. For we do not have a high priest who is unable to sympathize with our weaknesses, but we have one who in every respect has been tested as we are, yet without sin. Let us therefore approach the throne of grace with boldness, so that we may receive mercy and find grace to help in time of need.
Every high priest chosen from among mortals is put in charge of things pertaining to God on their behalf, to offer gifts and sacrifices for sins. He is able to deal gently with the ignorant and wayward, since he himself is subject to weakness; and because of this he must offer sacrifice for his own sins as well as for those of the people. And one does not presume to take this honor, but takes it only when called by God, just as Aaron was.

This passage makes me think about a special aspect of the Christian faith. The God of our faith knows what it is to be human. We humans are frail, “ignorant and wayward”, as the passage has it. We don’t act with the perfection of an all-powerful being. Jesus knows about our ignorant, wayward frailty very intimately, because He has lived as a man.

Churches and congregations share all those human qualities; we are perfectly capable of collective ignorance and waywardness, not just the individual versions. We require motivation, from each other and from inspiring leaders, to do good and to become better.

In a sense, I have been studying leadership over the past couple of years as I complete an MPA program part time. MPA stands for “Master of Public Administration”, a degree I hope to attain by Christmas 2022, if not sooner. I’m getting close. Studying administration often, and rightly, veers into discussions of leadership. My current class is called “Public and Nonprofit Management I”, and we’ve been reading and discussing recently about motivation theories. A lot of the material focuses on the fact that employees in government and nonprofit contexts find motivation in equal measure to how much their own beliefs and ideals match the organization.

As members of Holy Apostles, we aren’t employees of a nonprofit. But we are voluntarily engaged in an organization, and every organization, including our church, has beliefs and ideals. There is a mission statement, and it comes from Jesus: “Love everyone.” I come to church and am a member because I believe in that message, even if in my human frailty, ignorance, and waywardness I can’t perfectly live up to it. Our motivations as churchgoers and church members work similarly in some ways to nonprofit employees. Can our organization, our church, come close (or closer) to what we believe in?

That’s where our own priests and spiritual leaders come in. In our case, we are deeply fortunate to have Mother Kimberlee and Mother Sarah, Deacon John and Canon Sandye, offering us their leadership. They are frail mortals, too, able to understand and deal gently with the ignorant and wayward, being themselves subject to weakness. But they are, in many important ways, bringing us as a congregation closer to our own beliefs. Even though it’s hard, and even though all involved are far from perfect, our motivation to continue in our church and our joy in our beliefs is increased through their efforts. I feel immense gratitude for our leadership, and continue to grow in my own motivation, joy, effort, and love.

You can listen to the reading and reflection by clicking here.

Psalm 51

Have mercy on me, O God, according to your loving-kindness; *
in your great compassion blot out my offenses.
Wash me through and through from my wickedness *
and cleanse me from my sin.
For I know my transgressions,*
and my sin is ever before me.
Against you only have I sinned *
and done what is evil in your sight.
And so you are justified when you speak *
and upright in your judgment.
Indeed, I have been wicked from my birth, *
a sinner from my mother’s womb.
For behold, you look for truth deep within me, *
and will make me understand wisdom secretly.
Purge me from my sin, and I shall be pure; *
wash me, and I shall be clean indeed.
Make me hear of joy and gladness, *
that the body you have broken may rejoice.
Hide your face from my sins *
and blot out all my iniquities.
Create in me a clean heart, O God, *
and renew a right spirit within me.
Cast me not away from your presence *
and take not your holy Spirit from me.
Give me the joy of your saving help again *
and sustain me with your bountiful Spirit.
I shall teach your ways to the wicked, *
and sinners shall return to you.
Deliver me from death, O God, *
and my tongue shall sing of your righteousness,
O God of my salvation.
Open my lips, O Lord, *
and my mouth shall proclaim your praise.
Had you desired it, I would have offered sacrifice, *
but you take no delight in burnt-offerings.
The sacrifice of God is a troubled spirit; *
a broken and contrite heart, O God, you will not despise.
Be favorable and gracious to Zion, *
and rebuild the walls of Jerusalem.
Then you will be pleased with the appointed sacrifices,
with burnt-offerings and oblations; *
then shall they offer young bullocks upon your altar.

In this psalm, I see a very clear outline of the right way to go about repentance. David spends much time speaking of the depth of his sin, his wrong-doing. He doesn’t make excuses, shift blame or minimize what he’s done. We know that his actions (having an affair, setting someone up to be killed, abusing his power and then covering it all up) were pretty bad. We all do things we regret though and are self-centered in our thoughts and actions. Describing it, David says, “Indeed, I have been wicked from my birth, a sinner from my mother’s womb.” This seems pretty extreme but I think he’s just surveying how deep the sin goes, how pervasive. He also realizes that the sin beneath the sin is against God himself, “Against you only have I sinned and done what is evil in your sight.” How can this be? He surely sinned against all the people in this story. I think he is seeing that his ultimate sin was against God, against his love. He broke God’s heart not just his laws. So then what? There had to be some way of making amends, those things were too wrong, too vile. He says “Had you desired it, I would have offered sacrifice, but you take no delight in burnt-offerings. The sacrifice of God is a troubled spirit; a broken and contrite heart, O God, you will not despise.” David finally gets it and through his repentance he’s able to come out on the other side. He could have sacrificed animals but had no change of heart or true understanding of his fault. He’s able to find the “joy of your saving help again”. For us, Jesus was that sacrifice which brings us back into friendship with God.

In our family, with our 3 boys ages 4-10, we have opportunities daily to work on this. Especially during this time of overwhelming “togetherness” everyday someone physically hurts, teases, insults, breaks something, steals, or is unkind to a fellow family member. We have so many chances to practice these steps of repentance! If it’s a really grand offense, we have the kids write an apology letter. Something about it being in writing makes it seem more concrete and sincere. David’s steps here are useful. The main thing I try to get across to them is that we all make mistakes, but it’s so important to admit what you did, not blame anyone else, acknowledge the wrong-doing, ask forgiveness, commit to doing better, and finally, enjoy the restored relationship. It is no different with God.

You can listen to the reading and reflection by clicking here.

Isaiah 49.8-15

Thus says the Lord: In a time of favor I have answered you, on a day of salvation I have helped you; I have kept you and given you as a covenant to the people, to establish the land, to apportion the desolate heritages; saying to the prisoners, “Come out,” to those who are in darkness, “Show yourselves.” They shall feed along the ways, on all the bare heights shall be their pasture; they shall not hunger or thirst, neither scorching wind nor sun shall strike them down, for he who has pity on them will lead them, and by springs of water will guide them. And I will turn all my mountains into a road, and my highways shall be raised up. Lo, these shall come from far away, and lo, these from the north and from the west, and these from the land of Syene.

Sing for joy, O heavens, and exult, O earth; break forth, O mountains, into singing! For the Lord has comforted his people, and will have compassion on his suffering ones. But Zion said, “The Lord has forsaken me, my Lord has forgotten me.” Can a woman forget her nursing child, or show no compassion for the child of her womb? Even these may forget, yet I will not forget you.

One of the unexpected joys of COVID remote schooling in our household has been being able to eavesdrop on the classroom discussions of 8 year olds as they make sense of the world and themselves. I love sipping my morning chai in the living room while, behind a sliding door, Halcy and her classmates debate and then make decisions by playing rock-paper-scissors. Or, more recently, as they ponder what it means and how to be a change maker in the world.

In today’s reading, Isaiah reminds us: We are God’s children, and our Creator/Sustainer/Redeemer will not forget us or forsake us. He says, “To those who are in darkness Show yourselves… for the one who has pity on them will lead them, and by springs of water will guide them.”

In the past, I have thought about those in darkness as people in despair, weighted down by depression or sin. The kind of darkness that is within us. However, this year, with all that has happened and with the fresh voices of 8 year olds making sense of the world in my mind, I began to think of those in darkness as those who history or society has refused to acknowledge. As well as those who refuse to acknowledge and honor their existence. The kind of darkness that we, as a society, create and sustain.

In particular, I found myself thinking about the great personal sacrifices endured by civil rights and human rights change makers. I imagined the many change makers in history, the many bold and righteous spirits unseen, unknown, unappreciated. In darkness.
The Lord commands us to light. He says: Show yourselves. Come be nourished. I will comfort and restore you.
As we stand in this moment in time, dismantling the darkness piece by piece, individually and collectively, let us all be encouraged and emboldened by Isaiah’s words. Let us lean on our God. He is with us. Feeding us, comforting us, and guiding us to springs of hope and justice!