Our Blog

You can listen to the reading and reflection by clicking here.

John 12:1-11

Six days before the Passover Jesus came to Bethany, the home of Lazarus, whom he had raised from the dead. There they gave a dinner for him. Martha served, and Lazarus was one of those at the table with him. Mary took a pound of costly perfume made of pure nard, anointed Jesus’ feet, and wiped them with her hair. The house was filled with the fragrance of the perfume. But Judas Iscariot, one of his disciples (the one who was about to betray him), said, “Why was this perfume not sold for three hundred denarii and the money given to the poor?” (He said this not because he cared about the poor, but because he was a thief; he kept the common purse and used to steal what was put into it.) Jesus said, “Leave her alone. She bought it so that she might keep it for the day of my burial. You always have the poor with you, but you do not always have me.”

When the great crowd of the Jews learned that he was there, they came not only because of Jesus but also to see Lazarus, whom he had raised from the dead. So the chief priests planned to put Lazarus to death as well, since it was on account of him that many of the Jews were deserting and were believing in Jesus.

There’s a lot here. First, Jesus raises Lazarus from the dead. Ok. THAT’s HUGE! Then he is going to be killed, AGAIN. But all that doesn’t stand out to me though it is important. I don’t interpret this passage as most do, so I apologize in advance. Mary. Mary and her super fancy super expensive perfume. It smells earthy and musky. It’s sexy. I’m sorry, but I look at this as a sensual moment between two people who love each other. She is washing the feet of the man she loves with her hair with a very special oil. In front of everyone. It’s an intimate moment. Yet that is not what is shocking to Judas, it’s about the expense. Then Jesus sticks up for his lady.

Jesus isn’t worried about the money. He is letting Mary have her moment. Because he knows he is not going to be around much longer and they will not have many more of these moments. He didn’t want to deprive her, or himself of this special moment. He knows she will be suffering a great loss soon enough. If we knew when we were going to die, and our loved ones didn’t, wouldn’t we be in pain for them as well? Wouldn’t we do anything and everything we could to cherish or even create special moments? We don’t have to know we are going to die, or live in fear, to treat our loved ones with extra kindness and respect. Do it now. Stick up for a moment because it may be the last, allow it to happen as sensual or intimate or weird it might be. Additionally, it may seem counterintuitive during Lent, but I think Jesus is saying, expensive stuff is ok. Don’t laugh! And this isn’t a message to my husband, truly! Once, once in a while, we must honor and appreciate fine things for ourselves and our loved ones because it is part of the moment, the special memory, not a material thing. We will always have the poor, but we won’t always have each other, and we most certainly will have our memories, so let’s make them special, like Jesus did for Mary.

You can listen to the reading and reflection by clicking here.

Hebrews 4:14—5:4

Since, then, we have a great high priest who has passed through the heavens, Jesus, the Son of God, let us hold fast to our confession. For we do not have a high priest who is unable to sympathize with our weaknesses, but we have one who in every respect has been tested as we are, yet without sin. Let us therefore approach the throne of grace with boldness, so that we may receive mercy and find grace to help in time of need.
Every high priest chosen from among mortals is put in charge of things pertaining to God on their behalf, to offer gifts and sacrifices for sins. He is able to deal gently with the ignorant and wayward, since he himself is subject to weakness; and because of this he must offer sacrifice for his own sins as well as for those of the people. And one does not presume to take this honor, but takes it only when called by God, just as Aaron was.

This passage makes me think about a special aspect of the Christian faith. The God of our faith knows what it is to be human. We humans are frail, “ignorant and wayward”, as the passage has it. We don’t act with the perfection of an all-powerful being. Jesus knows about our ignorant, wayward frailty very intimately, because He has lived as a man.

Churches and congregations share all those human qualities; we are perfectly capable of collective ignorance and waywardness, not just the individual versions. We require motivation, from each other and from inspiring leaders, to do good and to become better.

In a sense, I have been studying leadership over the past couple of years as I complete an MPA program part time. MPA stands for “Master of Public Administration”, a degree I hope to attain by Christmas 2022, if not sooner. I’m getting close. Studying administration often, and rightly, veers into discussions of leadership. My current class is called “Public and Nonprofit Management I”, and we’ve been reading and discussing recently about motivation theories. A lot of the material focuses on the fact that employees in government and nonprofit contexts find motivation in equal measure to how much their own beliefs and ideals match the organization.

As members of Holy Apostles, we aren’t employees of a nonprofit. But we are voluntarily engaged in an organization, and every organization, including our church, has beliefs and ideals. There is a mission statement, and it comes from Jesus: “Love everyone.” I come to church and am a member because I believe in that message, even if in my human frailty, ignorance, and waywardness I can’t perfectly live up to it. Our motivations as churchgoers and church members work similarly in some ways to nonprofit employees. Can our organization, our church, come close (or closer) to what we believe in?

That’s where our own priests and spiritual leaders come in. In our case, we are deeply fortunate to have Mother Kimberlee and Mother Sarah, Deacon John and Canon Sandye, offering us their leadership. They are frail mortals, too, able to understand and deal gently with the ignorant and wayward, being themselves subject to weakness. But they are, in many important ways, bringing us as a congregation closer to our own beliefs. Even though it’s hard, and even though all involved are far from perfect, our motivation to continue in our church and our joy in our beliefs is increased through their efforts. I feel immense gratitude for our leadership, and continue to grow in my own motivation, joy, effort, and love.

You can listen to the reading and reflection by clicking here.

Psalm 51

Have mercy on me, O God, according to your loving-kindness; *
in your great compassion blot out my offenses.
Wash me through and through from my wickedness *
and cleanse me from my sin.
For I know my transgressions,*
and my sin is ever before me.
Against you only have I sinned *
and done what is evil in your sight.
And so you are justified when you speak *
and upright in your judgment.
Indeed, I have been wicked from my birth, *
a sinner from my mother’s womb.
For behold, you look for truth deep within me, *
and will make me understand wisdom secretly.
Purge me from my sin, and I shall be pure; *
wash me, and I shall be clean indeed.
Make me hear of joy and gladness, *
that the body you have broken may rejoice.
Hide your face from my sins *
and blot out all my iniquities.
Create in me a clean heart, O God, *
and renew a right spirit within me.
Cast me not away from your presence *
and take not your holy Spirit from me.
Give me the joy of your saving help again *
and sustain me with your bountiful Spirit.
I shall teach your ways to the wicked, *
and sinners shall return to you.
Deliver me from death, O God, *
and my tongue shall sing of your righteousness,
O God of my salvation.
Open my lips, O Lord, *
and my mouth shall proclaim your praise.
Had you desired it, I would have offered sacrifice, *
but you take no delight in burnt-offerings.
The sacrifice of God is a troubled spirit; *
a broken and contrite heart, O God, you will not despise.
Be favorable and gracious to Zion, *
and rebuild the walls of Jerusalem.
Then you will be pleased with the appointed sacrifices,
with burnt-offerings and oblations; *
then shall they offer young bullocks upon your altar.

In this psalm, I see a very clear outline of the right way to go about repentance. David spends much time speaking of the depth of his sin, his wrong-doing. He doesn’t make excuses, shift blame or minimize what he’s done. We know that his actions (having an affair, setting someone up to be killed, abusing his power and then covering it all up) were pretty bad. We all do things we regret though and are self-centered in our thoughts and actions. Describing it, David says, “Indeed, I have been wicked from my birth, a sinner from my mother’s womb.” This seems pretty extreme but I think he’s just surveying how deep the sin goes, how pervasive. He also realizes that the sin beneath the sin is against God himself, “Against you only have I sinned and done what is evil in your sight.” How can this be? He surely sinned against all the people in this story. I think he is seeing that his ultimate sin was against God, against his love. He broke God’s heart not just his laws. So then what? There had to be some way of making amends, those things were too wrong, too vile. He says “Had you desired it, I would have offered sacrifice, but you take no delight in burnt-offerings. The sacrifice of God is a troubled spirit; a broken and contrite heart, O God, you will not despise.” David finally gets it and through his repentance he’s able to come out on the other side. He could have sacrificed animals but had no change of heart or true understanding of his fault. He’s able to find the “joy of your saving help again”. For us, Jesus was that sacrifice which brings us back into friendship with God.

In our family, with our 3 boys ages 4-10, we have opportunities daily to work on this. Especially during this time of overwhelming “togetherness” everyday someone physically hurts, teases, insults, breaks something, steals, or is unkind to a fellow family member. We have so many chances to practice these steps of repentance! If it’s a really grand offense, we have the kids write an apology letter. Something about it being in writing makes it seem more concrete and sincere. David’s steps here are useful. The main thing I try to get across to them is that we all make mistakes, but it’s so important to admit what you did, not blame anyone else, acknowledge the wrong-doing, ask forgiveness, commit to doing better, and finally, enjoy the restored relationship. It is no different with God.