Lenten Daily reflection 2021-03-18
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Psalm 51
Have mercy on me, O God, according to your loving-kindness; *
in your great compassion blot out my offenses.
Wash me through and through from my wickedness *
and cleanse me from my sin.
For I know my transgressions,*
and my sin is ever before me.
Against you only have I sinned *
and done what is evil in your sight.
And so you are justified when you speak *
and upright in your judgment.
Indeed, I have been wicked from my birth, *
a sinner from my mother’s womb.
For behold, you look for truth deep within me, *
and will make me understand wisdom secretly.
Purge me from my sin, and I shall be pure; *
wash me, and I shall be clean indeed.
Make me hear of joy and gladness, *
that the body you have broken may rejoice.
Hide your face from my sins *
and blot out all my iniquities.
Create in me a clean heart, O God, *
and renew a right spirit within me.
Cast me not away from your presence *
and take not your holy Spirit from me.
Give me the joy of your saving help again *
and sustain me with your bountiful Spirit.
I shall teach your ways to the wicked, *
and sinners shall return to you.
Deliver me from death, O God, *
and my tongue shall sing of your righteousness,
O God of my salvation.
Open my lips, O Lord, *
and my mouth shall proclaim your praise.
Had you desired it, I would have offered sacrifice, *
but you take no delight in burnt-offerings.
The sacrifice of God is a troubled spirit; *
a broken and contrite heart, O God, you will not despise.
Be favorable and gracious to Zion, *
and rebuild the walls of Jerusalem.
Then you will be pleased with the appointed sacrifices,
with burnt-offerings and oblations; *
then shall they offer young bullocks upon your altar.
In this psalm, I see a very clear outline of the right way to go about repentance. David spends much time speaking of the depth of his sin, his wrong-doing. He doesn’t make excuses, shift blame or minimize what he’s done. We know that his actions (having an affair, setting someone up to be killed, abusing his power and then covering it all up) were pretty bad. We all do things we regret though and are self-centered in our thoughts and actions. Describing it, David says, “Indeed, I have been wicked from my birth, a sinner from my mother’s womb.” This seems pretty extreme but I think he’s just surveying how deep the sin goes, how pervasive. He also realizes that the sin beneath the sin is against God himself, “Against you only have I sinned and done what is evil in your sight.” How can this be? He surely sinned against all the people in this story. I think he is seeing that his ultimate sin was against God, against his love. He broke God’s heart not just his laws. So then what? There had to be some way of making amends, those things were too wrong, too vile. He says “Had you desired it, I would have offered sacrifice, but you take no delight in burnt-offerings. The sacrifice of God is a troubled spirit; a broken and contrite heart, O God, you will not despise.” David finally gets it and through his repentance he’s able to come out on the other side. He could have sacrificed animals but had no change of heart or true understanding of his fault. He’s able to find the “joy of your saving help again”. For us, Jesus was that sacrifice which brings us back into friendship with God.
In our family, with our 3 boys ages 4-10, we have opportunities daily to work on this. Especially during this time of overwhelming “togetherness” everyday someone physically hurts, teases, insults, breaks something, steals, or is unkind to a fellow family member. We have so many chances to practice these steps of repentance! If it’s a really grand offense, we have the kids write an apology letter. Something about it being in writing makes it seem more concrete and sincere. David’s steps here are useful. The main thing I try to get across to them is that we all make mistakes, but it’s so important to admit what you did, not blame anyone else, acknowledge the wrong-doing, ask forgiveness, commit to doing better, and finally, enjoy the restored relationship. It is no different with God.