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Lenten Daily Reflection 2020-04-03

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2 Corinthians 4:1-12
 

4Therefore, since through God’s mercy we have this ministry, we do not lose heart. Rather, we have renounced secret and shameful ways; we do not use deception, nor do we distort the word of God. On the contrary, by setting forth the truth plainly we commend ourselves to everyone’s conscience in the sight of God. And even if our gospel is veiled, it is veiled to those who are perishing. The god of this age has blinded the minds of unbelievers, so that they cannot see the light of the gospel that displays the glory of Christ, who is the image of God. For what we preach is not ourselves, but Jesus Christ as Lord, and ourselves as your servants for Jesus’ sake. For God, who said, “Let light shine out of darkness,”[a] made his light shine in our hearts to give us the light of the knowledge of God’s glory displayed in the face of Christ.

But we have this treasure in jars of clay to show that this all-surpassing power is from God and not from us. We are hard pressed on every side, but not crushed; perplexed, but not in despair; persecuted, but not abandoned; struck down, but not destroyed. 10 We always carry around in our body the death of Jesus, so that the life of Jesus may also be revealed in our body. 11 For we who are alive are always being given over to death for Jesus’ sake, so that his life may also be revealed in our mortal body. 12 So then, death is at work in us, but life is at work in you.

As I, and all of us, continue forth to the upcoming Holy Week, I am forced to think that this isn't what I imagined February 26 as Mother Sarah and I smudged crosses on each other's foreheads and on yours.  Each year we build on the previous, looking at what we have done, improving - thinking about what the experience will be for everyone and how we can get closer to Jesus, and yet now all is changed. As I prepare to enter into Holy Week, nothing seems familiar and I have to dig deep to re-imagine so much of these days ahead.  

My experience of the scriptures over these last two weeks in particular is also changed, having taken on new meaning and understanding - more urgency. Death is more present.  And this passage from 2 Corinthians reminds me that as death is more present, so too is life. 

Paul writes, "We are hard pressed on every side, but not crushed; perplexed, but not in despair;  persecuted, but not abandoned; struck down, but not destroyed.  We always carry around in our body the death of Jesus, so that the life of Jesus may also be revealed in our body."

Am I not feeling at moments crushed, in despair, abandoned and on the brink of destruction? I am.  And yet I try hard not to stay in those moments - lifted out by my faith that Jesus' resurrection is my hope for today, tonight and tomorrow - and all the tomorrows to come.  Life is at work in us, all of us - and the closer presence of death paradoxically makes me feel more present in my life - makes me feel more alive and when I allow it, allows me to feel closer to God. Life is pulsating all around - my eyes and my heart are more open to it than ever before. Life feels more precious and glorious than ever before. That light of Christ is shining brighter and stronger. God feels closer and the emotions evoked in Lent and Holy Week have a clarity to them - even in advance of Holy Week.

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