Lenten Daily Reflection 2020-03-21
1 Corinthians 9:16-27
16If I proclaim the gospel, this gives me no ground for boasting, for an obligation is laid on me, and woe betide me if I do not proclaim the gospel! 17For if I do this of my own will, I have a reward; but if not of my own will, I am entrusted with a commission. 18What then is my reward? Just this: that in my proclamation I may make the gospel free of charge, so as not to make full use of my rights in the gospel.
19 For though I am free with respect to all, I have made myself a slave to all, so that I might win more of them. 20To the Jews I became as a Jew, in order to win Jews. To those under the law I became as one under the law (though I myself am not under the law) so that I might win those under the law. 21To those outside the law I became as one outside the law (though I am not free from God’s law but am under Christ’s law) so that I might win those outside the law. 22To the weak I became weak, so that I might win the weak. I have become all things to all people, so that I might by any means save some. 23I do it all for the sake of the gospel, so that I may share in its blessings.
24 Do you not know that in a race the runners all compete, but only one receives the prize? Run in such a way that you may win it. 25Athletes exercise self-control in all things; they do it to receive a perishable garland, but we an imperishable one. 26So I do not run aimlessly, nor do I box as though beating the air; 27but I punish my body and enslave it, so that after proclaiming to others I myself should not be disqualified.
Religion is a new addition to my adult life. While I’ve felt a yearning for it for a few years now, I hadn’t explored the curiosity I was feeling until I came to a service at Holy Apostles last October. Since then, I have loved the sense of wholeness and community that the church provides.
New experiences not only bring new joys, but new challenges. When I’m asked at work about my weekend, I never include the church service I went to. When I tell my friends that I joined a church, they’re mostly confused. It not only feels anachronistic, but in direct opposition to modern life. I see the cross-over in the gospel and progressive politics, which is something that I find exciting, and want to talk about and share. But I’m not exactly sure how to verbalize it, especially without seeming pushy like a proselytizer and risking not being taken seriously.
Becoming a religious liberal, rather than a secular one, feels like wearing a wool sweater without an undershirt. It’s itchy. I know first-hand how affirming and justice-oriented the church can be. But on most days, I still have more questions than answers. How then am I supposed to answer the call of this scripture and “proclaim the gospel”? This seems like a big ask right now! Not only do I feel like an inadequate messenger (I don’t even own a Bible!), but in this hectic time it seems easier to feel abandoned, rather than enveloped, by God.
With work canceled this week, I have instead filled my time with worry. How will my stubborn, elderly father and under-protected nurses like my brother stay healthy? How will people feed their children and pay rent? Will I lose my job? With all this worrying to do, I’ve left texts unanswered and small groups unattended. Amidst all the worry, nothing gets done. This passage, however, is action-oriented. An athlete thinking about the race doesn’t accomplish much. Proclaiming the gospel in this time means stepping outside of my worry, my comfort zone, to help others in dire need, and in doing so “share in [the gospel’s] blessings.”
I’m not sure how I’ll do that yet, and I’d love to hear what others are doing.