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Lenten Daily Reflection 2020-03-13

Mark 4:35-41

³⁵ On that day, when evening had come, he said to them, ‘Let us go across to the other side.’ ³⁶And leaving the crowd behind, they took him with them in the boat, just as he was. Other boats were with him. ³⁷A great gale arose, and the waves beat into the boat, so that the boat was already being swamped. ³⁸But he was in the stern, asleep on the cushion; and they woke him up and said to him, ‘Teacher, do you not care that we are perishing?’ ³⁹He woke up and rebuked the wind, and said to the sea, ‘Peace! Be still!’ Then the wind ceased, and there was a dead calm. ⁴⁰He said to them, ‘Why are you afraid? Have you still no faith?’ ⁴¹And they were filled with great awe and said to one another, ‘Who then is this, that even the wind and the sea obey him?’

Oh, how many times have I wished to be taken away from the crowded madness around me! From the demands of children, family and work; from today’s near constant attack on the environment, justice, and democracy; and from the voices inside myself judging my efforts and dampening my dreams. Please, Jesus, take me to the other side for just a little while and let me leave these crowds behind!

Reading this scripture, though, I was reminded of a moment when I yearned for the crowds, not the relief, and was unexpectedly taken to the other side.

At the time, I was younger and feeling very alone in NYC. My loneliness had grown so large and feverish that I did everything I could to avoid being by myself. On this day, I had joined a hiking meet-up group, looking forward to being in the woods (my happy place) and having some company. The group was extremely large, though, and the banter of 50+ people quickly drowned out the voice of nature. To make matters worse, the leader was a poor fit for the role: He disparaged slower hikers, reminding everyone of his need to catch a 3pm train back to Manhattan, and he failed to mark the turns. Our large group quickly splintered into several smaller groups based on pace. And though I was in the middle group, I was concerned that the slow group (including a woman who’d somehow lost the sole of her boot) would not be able to catch up and find their way. Thinking that I knew mine, I turned back to guide them.

But I made a wrong turn. At once, I had no idea where I was. I’d lost the group in front of me and behind. I had no cell service, and I was utterly alone.  I began to panic.

Then, I stopped! Sitting on a rock, I pulled out my lunch and breathed. I decided not to think for a while. A deer walked into the clearing and gazed at me. The light shimmered through the foliage like a waterfall. The leaves swirled lazily down to the ground. In that holy moment, it seemed that God was right there with me.

When I rose to leave, still not knowing how I’d get out of the woods, astonishingly, I immediately ran into the woman with the broken boot and her friend. The friend had managed to telephone her mother – who’d contacted the state police, and we were ‘rescued’ in minutes.

In the poetic irony of that day (seeking a crowd, finding God in solitude; trying to save someone with a broken sole who ended up saving me…), it was if God was saying to me, ‘Why are you afraid? Have you no faith?’ 

God’s ways are bigger and more glorious than we can imagine. Let us be still and allow Him to be with us.