Lenten Daily Reflection 2020-03-09
Mark 3:7 - 19
7 Jesus departed with his disciples to the lake, and a great multitude from Galilee followed him; 8hearing all that he was doing, they came to him in great numbers from Judea, Jerusalem, Idumea, beyond the Jordan, and the region around Tyre and Sidon. 9He told his disciples to have a boat ready for him because of the crowd, so that they would not crush him;10for he had cured many, so that all who had diseases pressed upon him to touch him. 11Whenever the unclean spirits saw him, they fell down before him and shouted, ‘You are the Son of God!’ 12But he sternly ordered them not to make him known.
13 He went up the mountain and called to him those whom he wanted, and they came to him. 14And he appointed twelve, whom he also named apostles,* to be with him, and to be sent out to proclaim the message,15and to have authority to cast out demons. 16So he appointed the twelve:* Simon (to whom he gave the name Peter); 17James son of Zebedee and John the brother of James (to whom he gave the name Boanerges, that is, Sons of Thunder); 18and Andrew, and Philip, and Bartholomew, and Matthew, and Thomas, and James son of Alphaeus, and Thaddaeus, and Simon the Cananaean, 19and Judas Iscariot, who betrayed him.
Then he went home;
My life feels somewhat chaotic at the moment. We have a baby on the way and a rambunctious three year old, and I’m going through some professional changes. Not to mention the primaries, coronavirus, and climate change.
Most days it’s almost all I can do to care for myself and my family, let alone my friends and coworkers and the other seven billion people in the world.
I’m sure I’m not alone in feeling this way. It feels a little like being crushed by the crowd of my to-do lists, the friends and family who I haven’t called in a while, the planning meetings with fellow activists I’ve missed, everything I can’t quite handle right now.
In recent weeks, saying morning or evening prayer has been helpful. The familiar prayers give me a chance to pause, like a moment alone on a quiet lake or peaceful walk on a mountain. The prayers help put things in perspective, reminding me that I am a small part of a much larger story, over which I have little control. The history of failures, small and large, that haunt me in the middle of the night can be forgiven. I do not have to face the fear I sometimes feel alone. These are things I know, but in these anxious times it can be easy to forget.
That pause for prayer and quiet, the chance to return to what I know is true, is only one part of the story, of course. Jesus goes back into the crowds and sends out the disciples to do God’s work in the world.
It’s an ongoing cycle of rest and return, prayer and service. I’d say it’s a little like breathing, in and out, but that implies it comes naturally, which it does not. Not for me, anyway. Making space for quiet is hard work. And so is doing the work of loving others - our family, friends, and the world. Yet, I believe, they are both required of us, and the only way to serve the world without being crushed by the crowd.