Lenten Daily Reflection 2020-03-02
Lenten Reflection for Monday, March 2
Emily Hursh
Genesis 37:1-11
Jacob settled in the land where his father had lived as an alien, the land of Canaan. 2This is the story of the family of Jacob.
Joseph, being seventeen years old, was shepherding the flock with his brothers; he was a helper to the sons of Bilhah and Zilpah, his father’s wives; and Joseph brought a bad report of them to their father. 3Now Israel loved Joseph more than any other of his children, because he was the son of his old age; and he had made him a long robe with sleeves.*4But when his brothers saw that their father loved him more than all his brothers, they hated him, and could not speak peaceably to him.
5 Once Joseph had a dream, and when he told it to his brothers, they hated him even more. 6He said to them, ‘Listen to this dream that I dreamed. 7There we were, binding sheaves in the field. Suddenly my sheaf rose and stood upright; then your sheaves gathered around it, and bowed down to my sheaf.’ 8His brothers said to him, ‘Are you indeed to reign over us? Are you indeed to have dominion over us?’ So they hated him even more because of his dreams and his words.
9 He had another dream, and told it to his brothers, saying, ‘Look, I have had another dream: the sun, the moon, and eleven stars were bowing down to me.’ 10But when he told it to his father and to his brothers, his father rebuked him, and said to him, ‘What kind of dream is this that you have had? Shall we indeed come, I and your mother and your brothers, and bow to the ground before you?’ 11So his brothers were jealous of him, but his father kept the matter in mind.
Family drama!! Who can’t relate? Reading this passage at this time, I really felt for and related to Joseph. He was just sharing his dreams with his family; he didn’t tell them he thought they’d bow down to him one day. They jumped to that conclusion all by themselves! They turned out to be right, of course, but when the full picture came into focus, his family was happy to bow down to Joseph, who saved them and their whole community from famine!
I had some family drama this Christmas when I showed up as my authentic self, speaking my truth as a queer woman. I had been letting my family erase this part of my identity for years to keep the peace, but circumstances have changed, and that wasn’t possible anymore. It wasn’t easy for me to spend a week with that much tension between me and my loved ones. It was tempting to somehow downplay the facts and smooth things over, but I don’t think that would have been serving anyone, and I couldn’t bring myself to do it anymore. I didn’t save anyone from a famine, but my example did create space for my youngest sister to more proudly be who she is as well, and that’s enough for me.
Of course, I can relate to Joseph’s brothers, too. I’ve definitely heard an uncomfortable truth, jumped to several conclusions, and gotten myself all bent out of shape when I would have been far better off following Israel’s approach, and just sitting with this new information and the discomfort it brings. Often, things that feel world-ending when we first hear them turn out to be no big deal, or even wonderful news!
As I search my heart for what stands between me and a closer relationship with God this Lent, I’m considering how being my most authentic self, even when that means going decidedly against religious ideas I grew up with, can give me the freedom to show up for God as well. People aren’t always going to understand how I can be a queer Christian, anymore than Joseph’s brothers understood his dreams, but God is the one I have to answer to.